I have been thinking recently that I want to be more expressive with my feelings in real-time. If get a feeling when someone behaves a certain way, and I feel like I need to share this feeling in an enlightened manner (knowing it is a temporary manifestation, like a wave in the ocean), I want to share it. I have been thinking about this because there have been a couple instances recently when I have been around a person exhibiting a certain behavior, and I have wanted to tell them that I don't like that behavior. I didn't say anything though, thinking that "I appreciate this person for who they are and anything I criticize in someone else is a behavior that I want change in myself." While this may be a proper attitude, I still want to express myself more to the people I care about when strong feelings arise. Even when feelings that aren't that strong come up, I still want to share them if my intuition says it is the right thing to do.
So...I have been thinking like this for the past couple of weeks, and last night I got a taste of what I am talking about, except I was on the receiving end of someone telling me that I need to correct a certain behavior I was exhibiting. I was singing in a kirtan (devotional singing) group with a few people in someone's home. I have a very loud voice. I sing loud. I like it. Kirtan is an singing art where there is usually one leader and a group responding to what the leader sings (the response is usually the exact same line as the leader sings).
After we finished singing, one person came up to me and said that the goal of the singers in the response group is to blend in and not stick out with their singing. They should sing quieter and they should all sing the same notes. I apparently was singing louder than the rest and singing some different notes than the rest. For the first instant he was telling me this, I had a defense up -- I said "I was singing too loud?" After I realized I had a defense up, I let it down and listened to my friend, and appreciated his feedback and realized he is right.
Maybe I am more aware of this type of exchange between people (one person sharing his or her observations about another person's behavior to that person directly) because I have been wanting to do this myself, but this stood out to me as an occurrence when someone has put the mirror up to my own behavior. It helps me become more aware of my behavior and how it affects other people.
